Saturday, January 17, 2009

a tale about a movie and a nose

So....I decided to take the kids to the video store to rent a movie each.
My 2 rules for my son that we are working on are
1: no scary or violent movies
2: No swearing
So of course my daughter quickly finds a movie.My son takes FOREVER as always.(I swear we will decide on our movies before we go in next time.)Anyhow..he looks at the horror ones and all other inappropraite movies.I have to tell him "no" again and again.Then he asked again and it was a violent one ..he got the same response and saidF@*K!!!!
so..I said okay no biggie right? well not for me i felt sooo bad but have been so easy on him.Well enough is enough,i gotta follow thru.He followed me out the door screaming he hates me etc...but i was so proud of myself!!!
Well i had to stop at my salon and he gets out and says" nose is bleeding,I just punched myself."
what the???
well it a shock but remained calm..we got home and he is just miserable play outside for a minite comes in and is a happy boy again...oh my.....

Monday, January 5, 2009

When and how

When do you let your child know the full extent of his disability? Or do you even tell him? My son knows he has Fasd,and ADHD but doesn't understand quite what they are.Just knows he is hyper and has a few troubles because of it.And is quick to blame any misbehavior on them.But really when do you explain his limitations to him? or once again do you?
I feel I have set him up for failure in so many ways in the past Such as:
His birthday is Nov.So I let him enter kindergarten the first chance he got.I should have kept him back.He just seemed so ready at the time.
And joined lots like beavers(scouts)Basketball, swimming lessons.Beavers was boring,just lots of crafts.Basketball and swimming were fine except they were groups and he can't catch everything when its not 1 on 1.Which brings me to Hockey.That boy can skate!!!!!!!!!!But in that setting and with uneducated coaches he couldn't keep up with the demands on him.Plus anytime the coach used a loud voice he took it personally.
The latest sport was Karate.OH MY!!! Once again he was good,but in a group setting he failed.Not even failed.They just seemed to be in a rush for him to click it all together.I will never forget it.His Sensei came up to me and said "do you think its working? Is he getting it?"I said well yes but do you remember how he has his disabilities?And he said"well yes but is it hurting him or helping him?"Meaning karate.Well i felt it was doing him lots of good.But I felt so hurt and shocked that instead of standing up to him i just tried to fight back tears.I asked my son later how he was feeling and said it has gotten boring.I think he was struggling and that got him bored of he quit.
I got the feeling from his hard ass(pardon me) teacher that his assessment from his doctors etc wasn't shared with her.And so i passed on some info.And she says she doesn't see it.Huh???? Okay well...he has all he has.So we had this issue of him going to the bathroom or getting a drink at school .especially during his times with extra help in another room.LA (learning assistance room).So they made sure he did all this before he went to these rooms.And in a meeting with him and the LA lady and his teacher this was mentioned to the next day.He is in the LA room.need water so he goes to the fountain in the OTHER hallway by his class.He had to walk past one fountain to get to the regular one.His teacher saw this and was shocked.She says she didn't understand why.I told her its not on purpose .That's just the one in his regular routine so that's where he went.She said she felt he wasn't deliberately trying to do this...and of course i said....that's just how his brain works....grrrr.....I need to sink it into her head.Otherwise she is a good teacher and we FOUGHT to get him into that class due to a Bully in his other switching allowed.I am not sure what info to give her.I need to make his needs and how his brain works known!!But how????
So i guess my point is.He knows he is a little different than the others.He is stressed at do i tell him the extent of his needs? or do I?Do i let him carry on and naturally just get disappointed and or frustrated? I find him AMAZING and normal.But being just partial fasd he looks normal, its all the other crap and the kids at school pick up on it.
A new boy started today.Before school let out for Xmas ,at that meeting we had,they mentioned the boy was coming and maybe that's somebody he could connect with and walk around at lunch with.Well in one sentence he said that he did walk around with him in another he did something else.I tried to get him to introduce him to this shy boy but my son got all awkward and nervous.I am sad for him that it didn't seem to go as planned..
Oh and FYI: It turns out he needs an aid in class but because of a time line we missed its too late.How can it be too late? the need is there!!!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

So we went skating on the 31st.My daughters mood was shifting...eegads!!! But she settled down...MY son well...he had issues.We took his friend.However he was being bugged by a younger boy...and as ususal just puts up with it.He doesn't wanna get in trouble .He is an easy target to bully.So i knew this boy was really from a religious family.we had attended church together.I gave my son stupid advice and told him next time the boy calls him stupid just tell him he isn't much of a catholic hey? so when Isaac called my son stupid and my son said the stupid advice i gave him.. the boy pushed him down..geez!!!! i made it worse.that was childish of me.the mom was there and said she will deal with her son...her mom is a client of mine( i am a hairstylist)maybe not now...but despite it he had fun..go figure. Hind sight however would change how i dealt with that.
His friend was unsure about sleeping over but decided to stay.My daughters friend was cute and they passed out around was new years,i let them...but the mess!!!! OMG it was insane!!ah well...they were good.
My sons friend complained of bowel pains so i called his mom.The boys were starting to be a little mean to each other.They went sledding that night and all was good but my son was was starting..i saw melt downs the friends tummy ache was good...My husband took him home and after that...IT WAS AMAZING!!!! My son calmed right down.The 3 of us played Wii and my son realized he was much happier without his friend.We had snacks and wrung in the new year together...
the next day my daughter well..the whole morning was one big meltdown that lasted till 12 when her friend left.She is mean..yup my daughter is mean...i finally remembered the time outs..never use them but will now.It took her 15 mins to do a 3 min time out....i did "super nanny" style....

Today she hates me.At least thats what she keeps saying...and truth is i don't always like her.I love her...But she is a handfull....we have not got a good bond in my eyes.She is daddies girl.he treats her like a princess...i correct it when i see it and i am the bad guy...always am...too tired to write anymore

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Years

Why do i do this to myself?? I have arranged to have a friend over for my son today and another friend for my son to have for a sleep over.Friends=equal major impulse issues and major melt downs.I do this a lot and have yet to learn not to.But he needs constant stimulation so they are his victims.I know they have a hard time handling him as well so i try to limit how long they are over for.But really you can tell when they have had enough.He is upset he doesn't get invited over much but...really we all know why.I told him he complains when he goes to somebody elses house anyways.He has more fun at home.But geez i wish he was invited to other peoples houses more too!! his friend has been over for maybe 20 mins and they played on the wii for like 10 min and now my son is bored...oh man!!!
My daughter is having her little friend over as well for a sleep over.This will make more work for me.But everyone is pointing out how she never has anyone over.But she is 3!!! Its just more on my plate then!!
Tonite is new years.We don't have any major plans and my expectations are low.We go ice skating this afternoon and then..we will see what the evening brings..

Monday, December 29, 2008

Dec 29 2008

My mom mentioned i should write all my"adventures" down.I think she is right.But I think blogging them would be more fun...
This last week,well the 26th..the RCMP showed up at my door.Turns out my 8 year old son and his friend called 911 and hung up.Turns out they even show up then...this is just typical stuff in my world.
My son who we adopted at 2 is 8 now and LOVES me but does not respect me.He has fetal alcohol effect and adhd..
My daughter we adopted at 1 she usually doesn't like me but respects me.She is 3 ,so far no diagnoses other than "markers" on her DNA.and was born an me we will have a diagnoses for her,her behavior is not fun...